Friends
by mbali
Summary: The story of how Remus met Sirius, Peter, and James; and how they found out about his condition. Might be a wee bit angsty. I know it's ben done before--but all Remus fans will like it. honest, i swear ;)


Remus was so nervous. He could feel his heat pounding in his chest, his knees week and his stomach light as he looked up at the brilliant Hogwarts Express. His luggage had already been taken, and he slowly approached the door. Calm down, he kept saying to himself. You'll do fine, nobody knows, nobody knows your deep, dark secret.  
  
He looked around at all the laughing, smiling faces, and couldn't help but envy them. Stop it, he told himself. It's your fault you were bitten, no one else, especially not theirs. Although he couldn't remember all the details, he knew that that one night five years ago had changed everything. It had brought so much pain and grief to his parents. They had spent fortunes trying to find a cure, and as a result, they were destitute. He had ruined their lives, and never forgave himself for it.  
  
He boarded the train and made for an empty compartment at the back. He opened the door and was surprised to find that it wasn't empty as he though, but that there were two boys his age sitting in the corner fiddiling with something.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I er-though this was empty." He said, and turned to leave.  
  
One of the boys beat him to the door and closed it so he couldn't get out. "You can't leave, now that you've seen our secret," he said, mysteriously.  
  
"Oh Sirius, leave him alone, can't you see he's nervous enough as it is?" the other said, and extended his hand. "I'm James Potter. Pleased to meet you." The other boy, however, did not looked pleased at all.  
  
"Remus Lupin," Remus said, shaking his hand. He looked over to the corner and saw a row of Filibuster Fireworks that the boys were working on. "Guys planning on pulling a prank?" he asked.  
  
"No, no of course not. Who do you think we are?" said the other boy hurriedly, a look of deep mistrust on his face.  
  
"Oh, ok then. I was just going to say, there's a compartment full of girls two doors back."  
  
With that, the boy's eyes lit up and a smile split his face. "I'm Sirius Black."  
  
And with that, Remus made his first real friends he had had since he was six. For a moment, he had even forgot who he was. What he was. If only they knew, they wouldn't treat me this way he thought. But that was quickly forgotten as he, James, and Sirius planned their first prank.  
  
* * * *  
  
Peter looked up from the book he was reading as Sirius and James came in though the portal, talking loudly. "Do you think he rubs oil in his hair? I mean, seriously, I don't think hair can get so greasy naturally." James laughed good-naturedly at Sirius' comment on Snape.  
  
"Hey guys," Peter said, smiling.  
  
"Where's Remus?" asked James, looking around.  
  
"He had to leave. There was another family emergency, something about his mom being sick again."  
  
"Again?" exclaimed Sirius. "He's had to leave or some emergency seven times this year. I haven't had to once."  
  
"Well, you know Remus," said Peter. "His family has problems."  
  
"No," Sirius said. "There's something he's not telling us."  
  
"We're his friends. If something was wrong, he'd tell us." James said.  
  
"It's like," Sirius said, pausing in though, "it's like he has some chronic illness. He always looks so sick when he comes back, so.drained. I don't think his mom is sick, I think it's him."  
  
"This is Remus we're talking about," said James. "Why wouldn't he tell us if something was wrong?"  
  
"I guess you're right," Sirius said. But still, there was a suspicion, something that didn't quite add up, and it kept eating away at him.  
  
Remus came back a day later. He had bags under his eyes and was pale. But even on the best of days he was slightly pale. He headed straight for he dormitory, where James, Sirius and Peter were all getting ready to go to bed.  
  
"How's your mother?" Sirius asked coldly.  
  
"Hm?" Remus replied, tired and confused.  
  
"You left because she was sick, or had you forgotten."  
  
"Give me a break, okay? I'm dog-tired. She's fine." He turned his back to them as he started to crawl into bed, but Sirius grabbed his shoulder.  
  
Remus drew in a sharp intake of breath as if in pain, but made no other sound. Eyes narrowing, Sirius pulled up the sleeve of his robe before he could stop him, exposing a monstrous bruise.  
  
"Remus, oh my god, what happened?"  
  
"I fell down the stairs, alright? Not that it's any of your bloody damn business."  
  
As he reaches with his other arm to adjust his robe back in place, Sirius saw something on his forearm. "You don't get cuts like that falling down the stairs," he said softly and pulled up Remus' other sleeve, exposing a jagged gash from his wrist almost up to his elbow. Remus looked down, refusing eye contact.  
  
"Why don't you go to the infirmity?" James asked, a look of deep concern on his face.  
  
"I already have," he mumbled. There was more awkward silence. They were all staring at Remus, who was staring intently at his own shoes. Finally, Peter spoke.  
  
"Remus-who, who did this to you?"  
  
There was no reply, but instead Remus looked up at his. James noticed that Remus' stormy gray eyes were rimmed with red, like he was struggling to hold back tears. He shook his head. James reaches out his hand, wanting to comfort him, but he turned away quickly and made for the door. Before anyone could speak, he was gone, and Sirius, James and Peter were left alone in the dormitory.  
  
They didn't see him for the rest of the night. Sirius couldn't sleep, and he went down to check the Gryiffindor common room, and Remus wasn't there either. The next morning he wasn't at breakfast, and they were getting worried. Sirius, however, was still mad at him for not telling the truth, and kept furrowing his eyebrows thinking what was wrong with him. "I swear," he muttered under his breath, "it's like he has a chronic illness. But that wouldn't explain the cuts and bruises."  
  
There first class was a double potions. The class was full, except for Remus. Sirius was sure he wouldn't show up at all, but two minuets into the class, he came.  
  
"Well well, look who finally decided to show up," said Snape, viciously. Remus ignored him and took a seat in the corner of the room away from Peter, James and Sirius.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, Professor," he mumbled.  
  
"Alright Remus, just try not to let it happen again," said Professor Moridin, looking almost sympathetic.  
  
"That's odd," noted Sirius to James, "Moridin's never nice to Gryfinndors."  
  
"Oh shut it, Sirius. Give Remus a break."  
  
But Sirius couldn't help it. Remus was his friend, or at least he though so, and they told each other everything. So why didn't he tell them what was going on, where he disappeared to so often. How he got those horrible bruises?  
  
He kept glancing at him, but Remus refused to make eye contact the entire class. He really looks awful, he thought. Chronic illness. What chronic illness would do that to a person? He just couldn't get the bruises, the gash out of his head. Madam Pomfrey should have been able to heal them; why didn't she?  
  
Class went by slowly, and none of them had a chance to talk with Remus. It kept up for the next few weeks. Remus was just never around. He skipped meals or sat at the other end of the table, always came to sleep after everyone else if he came to sleep at all. And when they were forced to be together in class he hardly said anything at all unless he had to.  
  
They know. And they hate me. Even if they don't know, they'll find out, sooner or later. And I don't blame them. Who wouldn't hate a monster? It was the day of the full moon. Thought Remus had been thinking the past month came up in his mind as the aggressive personality of the wolf started to surface. At least you had fun for a few months, at least you had friends. But every thing good must come to an end. He paced the dormitory floor, struggling to contain the wolf's rage, the human's self-hatred. This was going to be one tough transformation. An ordinary full moon was horrible, the pain of transforming excruciating. And trapped under the Whomping Willow, the Shrieking Shack they now called it because of the horrible screams he made, the wolf craved blood. Blood of a human. And when he couldn't get that, he took it out on himself. Since arriving at Hogwarts, it hadn't been so bad. He had friends, and he was truly happy for the first time since he was bitten. But emotions of a human are amplified when he is in wolf form, and he knew the wolf was going to be in a rage tonight.  
  
The moon would rise soon, and he was already starting to feel feverish as his body tried to reject the transformation that was going to take place. But that was always the easiest, the sickness. Even the self-mutilation wasn't so bad, when it was compared to the actual transforming. He exited the dormitory, brushing past Sirius, James, and Peter on the way down.  
  
"Hey, Remus, we need to talk," James called after him.  
  
He ignored them. Doubtlessly, they had figured out his secret and were going to confront him. Beat him up? It had happened before when people found out. Or maybe spread it around the school, and he'd have to go home.  
  
His thoughts stopped as he met Madame Pomfrey on the ground outside. He was dreading the next few hours.  
  
Sirius felt anger rise in his throat. The bastard! He thinks he can just walk away from them? "Let's follow him," he told James and Peter.  
  
"W-what?" asked Peter, stunned.  
  
"Let's follow him, and see where he's going."  
  
"Sirius, I don't know.." that was James.  
  
"Fine, I'll do it myself!" he snapped. "I just want to see where he's going that's so much more important than his friends."  
  
With a sigh, James followed Sirius as he sneaked out of the portal, with Peter not far behind. The followed him out to the grounds. "What the hell is he doing outside?" he asked.  
  
"It's Madam Pomfrey!" squeaked Peter, and they darted behind a bush. They saw her lead Remus to that new tree, the Whomping Willow. "Are they mad?" asked Sirius, "It's going to whomp them to pieces!" But instead, they saw Remus take a long stick and, careful not to be in reach of the vicious limbs, prodded a knot near the bottom of the trunk. Instantly, the limbs froze. Remus appeared to be saying goodbye to the nurse, and he disappeared in a hole in the ground.  
  
They waited until Madame Pomfrey had left, and then followed Remus to the tree. They poked the same knot with the same stick, with the same results, and jumped into the hole in the ground. There was a long tunnel that lead off into the darkness.  
  
"I think this goes to Hogsmeade," said James. "Or under it, at least."  
  
They stopped in their tracks as they heard a heart-wrenching scream. "What was that?" asked Peter, nervously. It was followed by another, longer scream, but it wasn't a scream of terror, it was a scream of pain. Then they heard a low moan.  
  
"It's Remus. Come on, we've got to help him." They ran forward, nearing the end of the tunnel, and they heard another moan and then. a howl. The cry of a wolf.  
  
"Wait!" said Sirius. "What moon is it?"  
  
"Huh?" asked James, confused. "Who cares, we've got to help Remus, he's being attacked by a wolf!"  
  
"Is it a full moon?" he asked, desperately.  
  
"Yes, but-"  
  
"Don't you understand?" he said, suddenly sober. "Remus isn't being attacked by the wolf. He is the wolf."  
  
James stood in silence. The wolf howled again. Peter moaned.  
  
In the dim light of the moon Remus held his breath as the transformation began. His back arched as his spine and nervous system reacted. As he spasmed he was dimly aware of his face changing, elongating, and hair sprouting. As his bones changed shape and rearranged themselves, as his organs altered, he tried hard not to scream. But as always, it was useless as his body was engulfed in fire. Although the change never lasted more than a minute, it always felt like eternity. Now it was over, and his mind was gone, replaced by that of the wolf. Blood. All it wanted was blood. To run free, to hunt, to kill. He could not control the dangerous monster that he was now, and soon the wolf realized that there was no blood but his own.  
  
The three of them stood there, hearing crashes and howls, letting the facts sink in. Remus. Their friend. A werewolf. Peter spoke up: "we have to get out of here."  
  
James immediately disagreed. "No, Peter. Remus is our friend, and we have to help him. Just because he's a werewolf once a month doesn't make him any different."  
  
"But he-he's a monster!" he stammered.  
  
Sirius for once was silence. How could he have been so furious a moment ago? How could he be angry with his friend, who went through so much pain? He knew why Remus didn't tell them, he understood. And all he felt was pity. In that moment, Sirius decided that he would never, ever, abandon Remus. Knowing it wasn't safe to be with a werewolf, the decided to wait where they were until the moon was set, and then go and check on Remus.  
  
The person inside the wolf was there. He was always there. But he had no control. Dimly, Remus was aware of the wolf stalking around the room, suddenly attacking a chair. It threw itself against the wall with suck force that it cried out in pain. He was vaguely aware that his mouth was full of blood, his own blood. He had torn at his front legs, at his side, at his thighs. Unlike a normal wolf, a werewolf was much bigger, even in its adolescent state. His senses were sharp, even his sight. He could smell the mold on the walls; taste the blood in his mouth. He could see every grain in the wood even in the dim moonlight, and hear an owl in flight just outside the window. And he could feel the pain, sharp, where he had rammed the wall, but he paid it no heed. The hours wore on and the wolf continued it's destructive rampage. The walls were covered with his claw marks; the already ruined furniture was torn to pieces in the wolf's powerful jaws. It had no fear. It felt no pain. Eventually the moon set as the morning dawned, and he went through an equally painful transformation as he had the night before. He dropped to the ground exhausted, unable to move, to think, and quickly sank into unconsciousness.  
  
It was hours later. He heard voices.  
  
"You're sure it's safe?"  
  
"Yes, the moon has set. Go back, if you're afraid."  
  
"I d-don't think it's safe," the one mumbled.  
  
"Oh my God," said another. "Look at the walls. The marks, the blood."  
  
That was James, he realized. They had found out then.  
  
"Remus, are you here?" it sounded like Sirius. They were downstairs.  
  
"Here," he tried to say, but all that came out was a low moan. It had been an awful night. The second worst he'd ever had so far. He realized that if his former friends didn't want anything to do with him, then there was nothing he could do.  
  
The footsteps came closer.  
  
He was sprawled on his side on the ground. James rushed to him immediately. He looked like he was dying, and James was terrified. Remus was his friend. He had gone through this every month, and he hadn't told anyone. Not even his friends. His stomach squeamed at the sight of blood, and Remus was lying in a small puddle of it. He was only eleven, after all, and unprepared for seeing his friend in suck distress.  
  
Sirius and Peter were there too, although Peter looked sicker than Remus. They kneeled down beside him, afraid to touch his body. "Why, Remus? Why didn't you tell us?" he asked gently.  
  
Remus looked at him, at the pity in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he croaked. "I'm so sorry. I know you don't want me as your friend, the monster that I am," he almost spat.  
  
How could Sirius bring that up at a time like this? "Oh Remus, don't think that. You're our friend, no matter what. It doesn't matter what you are, or that you didn't tell us." He drew his eyes down to his arms, a bloody mess. His side, torn, exposing something dark red.  
  
"James's right," said Sirius. "We're all friends, friends forever."  
  
"Even if you are a werewolf. You can't help that," Peter piped up, looking at Remus with almost awe.  
  
Remus' eyelids fluttered and almost closed. "You guys should be going," he said, "Madame Pomfrey will be here soon. Don't want you guys to get detention on my account.."  
  
"No," said James. "We're staying here with you. Since when is detention more important than friends?"  
  
Remus smiled weakly. Then coughed. It wasn't long before Madame Pomfrey did come, to find Remus surrounded by his friends, helping him.  
  
"Well, well. It certainly took you three long enough to figure it out." She did some quick spells to stop the bleeding and conjured up a stretcher to transport him to the infirmary.  
  
James, Sirius, and Peter got detentions, but as they were pickling eyeballs for potions, they realized that this was the first detention that had actually been worth it.  
  
****** Author's Note: I hope you liked it. My first HP fic. Been sitting in my computer for a while, I forgot about it. I know that this type of fic, Remus' friends finding out about his condition, has been done a LOT. ( oh well. My version is pretty generic I think, drawing influences from other fics as well as my own imagination. Please review! 


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